I just need to write four hundred forty-four words today. That’s the goal to keep my writing streak on the website I use to get words down, 4theWords. It used to feel so easy to reach that goal. Once upon a time I would reach that goal ten times over on a regular basis. But now, with my world changing, my purpose unclear, and so much drama and hate in the community we call this earth… The words don’t come as easy. 

I thought I was okay once February ended. The first few days of March this year were off to a great start, I had survived my seasonal depression once again and could take on the craziness of life full force. It didn’t last though. I’ve fallen back into a mental pit of despair that I don’t know how to get out of, and the words won’t come. 

My kitchen is finally clean again, thanks largely in part to my dear Mother-in-Law. I don’t think she knows just how much it helps, what she did last night while watching my sweet baby boy. Our morals and values may differ in a lot of ways, but I’ve learned I can count on her to help out without bringing much attention to the issue. Based on my husband’s reaction to such situations, I don’t think she’s always been so subtle. But that’s okay. We all learn and grow, and who she is now is a great help to me mentally. 

I’m supposed to lead the gathering group this week for my schooling. I haven’t yet touched my homework this week. I’ve barely written this week. I’ve barely done anything this week, other than tackling a sink full of dishes a few minutes at a time, and finally rearranging the living room so the movie shelf is where I want it. Of course, now parts of said living room are a bit of a disaster as a result, but the shelf is where I want it. 

The shelf is where I want it. 

I would like to be in bed still. It’s early, for me. But I actually slept great last night so maybe that’s why I actually woke up with my husband at 5 am this morning. I hate to admit how well I slept, seeing as the dog wasn’t in our bad last night. 

She normally sleeps with us, but she’s had some bad gas the last few days and not only does it stink but it startles her whenever she farts. It’s adorably funny, until its midnight and you’re trying to sleep but 60 pounds of muscle and fat has to get up and change position every five minutes. So I put her in her kennel to sleep, and she didn’t protest, and I slept wonderfully. 

I don’t think my husband slept so great. He seems to depend on both us girls taking up his bed space in order to sleep. 

We need a bigger bed. 

But at least that shelf is where I want it, and I’ve now written a little over 500 words. I have battled three adorable 4tw monsters. The baby has thought about waking up, but thankfully settled back into sleep. 

The shelf is where I want it, and I have started today with a small win. Here’s to many more.